more diamonds than pearls.
more starlet than wife.
more volatile than calm.
more peroxide than twinsets.
i used to write every day for an hour. sometimes more. i would put all of my words onto a screen, line up my breath in black and white text and send it out like smoke signal. i was so scared that my whole life would go by without anyone noticing. i was so scared.
i used to be alone a lot of the time. i was lonely a lot less than i was alone, but i was alone a lot of the time. after work and on most weekends, i would shut my door and be alone inside those milk-coloured walls, eating alone, singing alone, crying alone. but i never stopped writing.
i used to write about my history, about my fact and my fiction. i used to write when my heart was hurting or, worse, when my heart felt nothing. i used to write about midnight, about being sleepless. i wrote so many words that i built them like a cage around me, so i could climb up onto the bars and see over the tops of the buildings, into the sky.
i used to write so that somebody, somewhere would know i was alive.
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY